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Thursday, October 26, 2006 / 5:03 PM |
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It was just something expected to happen, & no more doubt, I gonna retain in sec3 next year. Overwhelming fear gripped my heart was once what I felt, however not today. Cus I've already had self mental prepared. My mother & I reached school at 2 sharp, I looked nonchalant. But i kinda waited in pure agony as the minutes started tickling slowly, what would be my mother's reaction? I pondered. Ms Lim sat down infront of us, opened my report book and pointed discreetly at my marks. Let me bellow, 'HOW WONDERFUL?'' I've no shame to announced that I only passed My chinese language.lol. My mind was preoocupied with thoughts of the futility of human existence, or maybe it's only me. stupid jess. In fact, it seems like it doesn't really bother much. because I know what done, is done. I deserve this. This is the consequenses But I felt very perturbed when my mom was looking at me so forlornly, & each & everytime I glanced at her furtuvely, I notice her eyes turned misty. What have I done? I disappoint her so much. so so much~ I did not speak a word, my mouth was shut throughout the 45 mins talk between my mother & teachers. I don't have right to say anything. I'm a loser~ & after the talks, my mother did not even rebuke me, mom, why aren't you scolding me? Why you're not irate at me at all? I hope you had just raved at me infront of my teachers & make me feel bashful, or simply make me cry. And rather you merely being too nice to me, I've take every good oppotunity for granted. Please, don't make me a spoilt child~ Can I simply pour out my tears? sigh~ I'm at the brink of despair that I really don't know what to do. The sun just shone mercilessly this morning, yet now rainning cats & dogs. is it that sky heard my heart sanking? sigh~ cheerio |